Dale Carnegie said: If you can't sleep, then get up and do something.Dale Carnegie is an asshole with motives...the worst kind

Unlike most people i enjoy sympathy...now let’s just get this straight...i don’t mean i like being patronised and i hate it when people fuss too much. But i like a little sympathy...because sympathy often leads to treats.............and i like treats. Anyway enough about that...as you may have gathered from my title I have a problem with sleep. I have a problem with a lot of things...sleep is one of those. Yeah i know it sucks ass. So i decided to take some affirmative action and give you all some top tips on what not to do when you are sleep deprived...I’m gonna do them in list form...I like lists...deal with it!
1) Drinking multiple cups of tea in quick succession only leads to one thing...heart burn.
2) Chasing said tea with multiple cups of coffee does not ‘counteract the effects of heartburn caused by tea’ it only aggravates it...so just don’t...you are not a scientist...there is no fact behind that assumption...your a fool.
3) Anything you think of when you haven’t slept for 3 days is probably a bad idea...scrap that...it is most definitely the stupidest, most dangerous idea you have EVER had...EVER! Just don’t do it...lie down and cry.
4) Cats are not ‘out to get you’, ‘making war cries outside your window’ or ‘possessed by the spirit of King Henry VIII. You’re crazy. Live with it.
5) Running up and down the stairs after 3 sleepless nights will only end in tears.
6) Washing your hair at 4 in the morning then lying on it will only end in tears.
7) People are not shouting at you. You’re tired. Like when you were 5, and your mum would say ‘you're tired’ and you would flip. Yeah. She’s not ‘starting’ on you. You’re tired.
8) There are no such things as flying gremlins...it’s a crow.
9) Do not under any circumstances try to pluck ingrown hairs out of your legs in the half light of dawn. The only result is severe bleeding, crying, swearing, hitting walls and unsightly contusions.
10) And finally, never go on Google...just don’t even touch the Internet...you WILL end up crying huddled in the foetal position in the corner of your room because you just stumbled upon a prank video of the large hadron collider causing a black hole and now you feel you have the tedious and weighty moral dilemma of whether or not to let the world know of their impending doom. You will somehow manage to watch hardcore porn and proceed to vomit and rip your hair out and googling suicide will not help you.

There’s much more...but i think I’ve covered the most important ones for now.
Peace.